Friday, May 6, 2011

10 things I'm obsessing over

10. Portal 2
9. Trying to be funny
8. Kingdom Hearts
7. Soul Eater
6.My MP3 player
5. Top 10 Lists
4. Finding a way to get more people to read this stuff
3. The possibility that I may be paranoid.
2. Watching CSI, the Big Bang Theory, and Criminal Minds
1. Waiting for the next season of Flashpoint (SWAT team drama ftw!)

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Retro Game of May: Earthbound

OK, so Earthbound, aka Mother 2, aka the only Mother game to get released in the USA officially, rules. I'm not gonna spoil the plot, but Earthbound is a tour de force RPG that unlike most RPGs, is set in the modern-ish world of the 1990's. You don't use swords and shields, you use yoyos, baseball bats, and frying pans. You fight an Eldritch Abomination so powerful went batshit insane and had it's IQ cut down to that of an infant capable of leveling Mount Olympus, bear in mind. It's Cthulhu meets Charlie Brown! You insta-win against weak enemies below your level (a feature I've only seen in Persona 4). You have psychic powers! If you aren't convinced to find an emulator and a ROM of this game, then you must hate video games.
I do have some issues with Earthbound: contrary to popular belief, I found the game a bit difficult. I often ran out of PP (the points you need to use your psychic powers), and had no way to restore except by slogging my ass way back to the hero's house to heal up.  Also, there's a status affect called 'mushroomized' that screws with your directional controls, and you have to find a certain NPC or try to stumble your way to a hospital to get healed. (Good luck with that, pal!) No anti-fungal potion for you, numbnuts!
Finally, you can get your ass kicked into the next galaxy. Repeatedly. It's humilating to say i got my ass handed to me repeatedly by a Black Ant, an Attack Slug, a Feral Dog, and a Rowdy Mouse. I feel like someone revoked my Man-Card. But the game makes up for it with it's humor, wit, and pacing.  Now, could Nintendo please put Earthbound and Mother 3 on the Wii Virtual Console?

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

10 Things I Hate

10. People who immediately think reading manga makes you a weeaboo/japanophile
Thanks for making me feel like I have a dirty secret, you bunch of ballturds.
9. Fire drills
Aaaah my ears!!!!!!
8. Divorced parents
7. Hipsters
AKA losers- than again, I have a profound love for the music of OK Go, so I could be making myself a hypocrite.
6. Modern pop music
Oh, how Americans are easily amused! With the exception of OK Go, modern popular artists have nothing to offer.
5. Bullies.
I'm gonna be serious here, let me just say: if you are being bullied, I beg of you, TALK TO SOMEONE ABOUT IT. It is not your fault you're being bullied, bullies are just insecure jerkwads. On another note, if you are the bully, I highly suggest you re-evaluate your turd.
4. Cosplayers
Dressing up as anime characters is the reason why item number 10 exists.
3. Geometry
I want to be a game designer, when the hell am I gonna use this crap!?!?
2. Parents getting remarried
1. The thought I might not be funny.
Oh god, I'm terrified by this thought.

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Upcoming posts for May

This month, I will bringing you:
10 Things I hate
Retro Game of the Month
and a possible video version of the Soul Eater review