Thursday, May 5, 2011

Retro Game of May: Earthbound

OK, so Earthbound, aka Mother 2, aka the only Mother game to get released in the USA officially, rules. I'm not gonna spoil the plot, but Earthbound is a tour de force RPG that unlike most RPGs, is set in the modern-ish world of the 1990's. You don't use swords and shields, you use yoyos, baseball bats, and frying pans. You fight an Eldritch Abomination so powerful went batshit insane and had it's IQ cut down to that of an infant capable of leveling Mount Olympus, bear in mind. It's Cthulhu meets Charlie Brown! You insta-win against weak enemies below your level (a feature I've only seen in Persona 4). You have psychic powers! If you aren't convinced to find an emulator and a ROM of this game, then you must hate video games.
I do have some issues with Earthbound: contrary to popular belief, I found the game a bit difficult. I often ran out of PP (the points you need to use your psychic powers), and had no way to restore except by slogging my ass way back to the hero's house to heal up.  Also, there's a status affect called 'mushroomized' that screws with your directional controls, and you have to find a certain NPC or try to stumble your way to a hospital to get healed. (Good luck with that, pal!) No anti-fungal potion for you, numbnuts!
Finally, you can get your ass kicked into the next galaxy. Repeatedly. It's humilating to say i got my ass handed to me repeatedly by a Black Ant, an Attack Slug, a Feral Dog, and a Rowdy Mouse. I feel like someone revoked my Man-Card. But the game makes up for it with it's humor, wit, and pacing.  Now, could Nintendo please put Earthbound and Mother 3 on the Wii Virtual Console?

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